worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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