Swine flu. Run for my life!
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Sacagawea was the original milf.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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