talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
