I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Two words: blizzard sex
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize