Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
