I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
