i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
