Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
