dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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