Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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