The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
