I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
