I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
