You're so nebulous sometimes
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
