I will die if light touches me.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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