it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
