Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
