Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize