So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
