Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
