So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
