you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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