In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
