Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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