Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize