Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
