I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
