New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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