so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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