i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
