I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So much rum. So many feels.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
