she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
