"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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