So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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