She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
