Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Its about making memories worth repressing
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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