Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
