Pants 0. Shit 1.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
