I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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