You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
