all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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