Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i dont even know how to be here
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
