Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Randomize
