real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Where did you get a picture of my penis
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize