I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize