Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
