I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
