As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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