Jerry, you need to find god
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
