I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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