So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
