Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
