i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
