apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
