Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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