I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize