Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
