Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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