so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
