When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Holy shit dude........stairs
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
